Prepare to Be Owned as Japanese Man Auctions Off Planet Earth

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We see crazy and bizarre items auctioned off on sites like eBay or Yahoo Auctions, every day, but this is the first time someone actually thought about selling our planet. The starting price was a measly ¥69 ($0.86), but since the auction went viral, the price has surged to ¥9,889,899,888 ($123,000,000). I still think it’s a bargain.

I know, this might seem like a joke to you, but it’s apparently no laughing matter to the seller. In the product description, it’s mentioned the Earth was bestowed upon the seller by God, who appeared to him in a dream. And since these are tough times, he decided to sell it to the highest bidder and improve his financial status. He lists our planet as “authentic” and warns bidders there is a “no return” policy on the item. So if you end up placing a bid and wind up owning the Earth and its inhabitants, you’re kind of stuck with us. You might feel tempted to post a prank bid on this, but the seller instructs all potential buyers to include a message expressing there serious intention to buy planet Earth, otherwise he will consider it a prank bid. And if there are too many prank bids he threatens to close the auction and start over at ¥69. In fact, he already did that once already, so please, be careful.

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Armageddon-Proof Survival Pod Proves a Big Hit

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You may be all happy and carefree today celebrating Halloween, but don’t forget that according to the Mayan calendar the end of days is less than two months away. Luckily, there’s a way around it – a survival pod built by a Chinese inventor who claims it can withstand the end of the world.

It’s big, it’s round, and apparently it will keep you alive in case of a natural disaster or a nuclear meltdown. Officially, it’s called the “Atlantis”, but everyone has started calling it a modern-day Noah’s Arc. Chinese entrepreneur and inventor Yang Zongfu worked on his survival pod for the last two years and spent around $150,000 making it as durable as possible. Back in August, he announced a series of public tests which would prove his Armageddon-proof survival pod was ready for the end of the world. On August 6, he climbed inside the Atlantis and was pushed down a 50-meter obstacle course on the side of a hill, over a bed of rocks and into a pool. Sadly, as soon as it hit the water, the arc’s door opened proving it was less than water tight. the inventor himself came out in one piece, but with a cut on his chin. But that didn’t discourage Yang, who moved on to the fire test, in which he set a smaller version of the Atlantis on fire, and pulled out a frozen ice-cream that had been perfectly preserved inside.

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Japanese DVD Lets You Go on a Dinner Date without an Actual Date

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Getting a girl to go out to dinner with you isn’t as easy as some people think. Luckily, now there’s a DVD that allows single men to experience a dinner date, without having to convince a woman to go out with them. It’s called “Amateur Dinner Time – Let’s Eat Together! -, and it’s hilarious.

Maybe you’re too shy to ask a girl out, or maybe you’re just too cheap to take her to a restaurant. Whatever your reason, you’re probably a bit curious about what it must be like to have a pleasant conversation with an attractive girl, over dinner. Now, thanks to a series of original DVDs released by Japanese media company K-NETWORK, you can (sort of) interact with cute girls from in front of your TV screen. Each of the three Amateur Dinner Time DVDs features a number of attractive ladies as they sit across the table from the camera enjoying their meal and engaging in small talk. They probably don’t answer your every question, or laugh at your stupid kokes, but hey, you can’t have everything, right?

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Man Sues Wife for Being Ugly, Gets Awarded $120,000 in Damages

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In what may be the weirdest divorce trial in recent history, a man in China sued his wife for being ugly and actually won the right to divorce her and a substantial settlement of $120,000.

No, this is not a joke. Earlier this year, Jian Feng, a man from northern China took his spouse to court for being ugly. But you couldn’t really tell that by looking at her, in fact the unnamed woman could be considered attractive by most standards. To make things even weirder, the judge actually ruled in his favor, granting him the right to a divorce and a settlement of around $120,000. This probably makes no sense to you right now, but I’ll try to clarify things as best I can. Jian Feng’s problems began when he and his wife had their first baby. The man described his daughter as “incredibly ugly” and told the court she resembled neither of the parents. Now, most fathers would just hold their piece and love that little angel as if she were the most beautiful baby ever born, but not Feng. He started accusing his wife of cheating on him, and he kept at it until she couldn’t take no more and finally admitted she might have something to do with the baby’s appearance.

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Woman with Toilet Phobia Is Terrified She Will Be Swallowed Up When She Flushes

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Can you imagine having to ask someone else to flush the toilet for you because you’re too terrified it will swallow you up? That’s exactly what 20-year-old Ney Decino, from Church Village, Wales, has to go through every day.

“The sound of the water sends shivers down my spine. It’s awful. I swear it will swallow me up. Once I’ve flushed, the sound of it and the look of the water going down, it freaks me out,” Ney says. She has had an irrational fear of toilets ever since watching a scene in the 1990 film Look Who’s Talking Too, starring John Travolta and Kirsty Alley. It showed an imaginary big-eyed, sharp-toothed character called Mr. Toilet Man, who screams it wants the child’s pee. I actually remember that scene, it freaked me out a bit as well, but I got over it pretty quickly. Ney, on the other hand, hasn’t, and she has had to deal with her phobia for most of her life. The young mother says she only goes to the toilet in public if it’s an absolute emergency, and always tries to find work close to home, so she can use the only toilet she feels safe on. And even there, she has problems flushing if she’s by herself. She will use a friend’s toilet if she has to, but only if they or a family member flush for her. Now, she’s trying to face her fear by setting up a Facebook group and getting in touch with other phobia-sufferers.

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University Graduate Lands Job as Human Scarecrow

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It’s not the kind of job students dream of during university years, but for 22-year-old Jamie Fox being a human scarecrow in a rape field really is a great gig. It gives him the chance to sit down, read a book and even improve his ukelele-playing skills.

Jamie graduated from Bangor University this summer, with a degree in music and English, but until he finds a job he likes in the music business, he’s more than happy to put on a bright orange suit and play a scarecrow in a rape field, in Norfolk, England. ”The farmer said to me, ‘Bring a deckchair and a good book’,” Mr. Fox says, and that’s exactly what he did. Now he just enjoys the peace and quiet, and the fresh air while catching up on some reading, listening to podcasts and playing the ukelele during his daily 8-hour shifts. ”I get to sit and read for a lot of the time but whenever I see the partridges, I have to get up and scare them off,” the young man said. ”A couple of my friends in busier, more generously-paid jobs, are slightly envious.” And for good reason, who wouldn’t want to earn £250 ($400) a week just sitting around in the great outdoors?

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Clever Experiment Proves We Do Judge Books by Their Covers

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Brian Brushwood and Justin Young, hosts of the NSFW Podcast, managed to push their $0.99 e-book to the #4 position on iTunes, without having to write a single word. How did they do it? Easy, they included lots and lots of sex.

You’ve probably heard of Fifty Shades of Grey, the erotic novel that took the world by storm a few months back. At one point it was all everyone was talking about, although not all critics were impressed with the quality of writing. Still, it became a bestseller and managed to drag other erotic literature to the top with it, whether it was good or bad. Brian Brushwood, one of the hosts of the NSFW Podcast noticed this trend while he was trying to push his book on magic tricks, Scam School Book 2: Fire. Looking at the iTunes chart he discovered the top 10 was all erotic fiction. Even established contemporary writers couldn’t break into the top 10 because of all the erotic books that were capitalizing on the success of Fifty Shades of Grey. He thought “hey, we could do that”, and that’s how their clever experiment began.

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Liquor Poured Down the Generous Chests of Hot Girls Is a Real Product

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German Liquor company G-Spirits has recently released a limited edition line of vodka, rum and whiskey that are poured down the chests of some incredibly hot women before being bottled. And no, this is not just a clever marketing gag, these are real premium products.

Until just a few minutes ago I thought the Naga Chilli Vodka was the hottest alcoholic drink in the world, but after seeing G-Spirits’ lineup, I’m just not sure anymore. I mean, I don’t care what you mix in your alcohol, it can’t possibly be as hot as whiskey that’s been poured on the chest of Alexa Varga, Hungary’s Playmate of the Year for 2012. And she’s just one of the three gorgeous models used to make the unique drinks. It’s not yet clear how they manage to bottle the drinks after they’ve been completed their journey down south, but after watching the making-of trailer released by G-Spirits, I don’t think many guys will care. After all, this is probably the easiest way to get to second base with a beautiful girl, and it will only set you back $150 – $180, depending on the spirit.

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Japanese Cuddle Cafe Lets You Sleep with a Girl for $80

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And when I say sleep, that’s exactly what I mean, you pervert! The Soineya “co-sleeping specialty shop” gives customers the chance to sleep in the arms of a beautiful girl, no strings attached.

Like RocketNews24′s Steven Simonitch notes, sometimes there’s nothing more comfortable that crawling into bed with your better half and falling asleep in their arms. But what if you don’t have someone to cuddle with? Don’t panic, we have some really good alternatives. One thing you can do is hire a professional cuddler for $60 an hour, or if you happen to be in Japan, you can visit the newly-opened Soineya cuddle cafe, where you can even choose the girl with whom you which to spend the bed with.

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Brewery Uses Man’s Beard Yeast as an Ingredient for Beer

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Something strange is going on at the Rogue Ales Brewery in Newport, Oregon. Brewers there are developing an ale made from wild yeast harvested from the beard of Rogue’s award-winning brewmaster, John Maier.

He hasn’t shaved since 1978, and that apparently makes his beard the perfect place to harvest yeast. I’m just kidding, it’s far from perfect, but Rogue Ales’ president, Brett Joyce said he was looking for a “different place that might have some magic yeast in it” and decided to try out Maier’s facial hair. The guys at Rogue had tried developing some new yeast strains from some of their own hopyard, but came up empty-handed, so as a joke they had their lab guy take a couple of Q-tip swabs from John Maier’s fluffy beard. Amazingly enough, he found a yeast cell, did some fermentation tests and the unique “beard beer” was born. What started out as a joke turned into something really special, since they never expected to find the new yeast they were looking for right in their brewmaster’s beard. ”This really is the needle in the haystack” John Couchot, Rogue Ales’ self-described mad scientist said.

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Hong Kong Billionaire Offers $65 Million Reward to Any Man Who Can Marry His Lesbian Daughter

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Hong King-based property and shipping tycoon Cecil Chao Sze-tsung has offered up a bizarre $65 million marriage bounty to any man capable of wooing and eventually marrying his lesbian daughter, Gigi. “I don’t mind whether he is rich or poor – the important thing is that he is generous and kind-hearted,” the billionaire said.

33-year-old Gigi Chao has recently announced wedding Sean Eav, her partner for seven years, in France. But her powerful father doesn’t even want to hear about it and even publicly dismissed the “false reports” of his daughter’s marriage insisting she was still single. He told the South China Morning Post that he is eager for his daughter to finally marry and even offered a $65 million reward to any MAN capable of winning her heart. “Gigi is a very good woman with both talents and looks. She is devoted to her parents, is generous and does volunteer work,” he said, adding that the financial reward is just “an inducement to attract someone who has the talent, but not the capital, to start his own business”. To sweeten the deal even more, he is willing to start his future son-in-law up in his own business.

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Chinese Billionaire Sells Canned Fresh Air to Raise Awareness about the Environment

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It was bound to happen at some point, I guess. Chen Guangbiao, a famous Chinese businessman and philanthropist, has recently launched a line of canned fresh air collected from various parts of China and Taiwan. The product is called “Chen Guangbiao: Nice Guy” and sells for about $0,80.

It’s no secret China has a huge air pollution problem, but while authorities don’t seem to be taking any action to resolve it, billionaire Chen Guangbiao, aka “Brother Biao” is trying to raise awareness in a very original way. He has recently started selling canned fresh air collected from “revolutionary” areas of China, including Jinggang Mountain in Jiangxi Province and some ethnic minority areas and Taiwan. ”One only has to open the can, directly ‘drink’ it or put the nose close to the can to breath deeply,” Chen said. He also mentioned there is a chip in the can, and during the “packaging process”, when the negative oxygen ions reach a certain concentration the lid is triggered by the chip and closed. And since the air is compressed, it stays inside the can even without a lid, the quirky philanthropist claimed. Before the big launch of ”Chen Guangbiao: Nice Guy” canned air, Brother Biao said he was confident of its success, because there are lots of people in big cities inhaling air mixed with vehicle exhaust every day who are dying for a breath of fresh air.

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Chinese Hospitals Introduce Automatic Sperm Extractors

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No, this is not a joke, it’s not fake, Chinese hospitals really are using automatic sperm extractors for the most serious medical purposes. Still, I thought this was weird enough to post an article on.

So, an entry about automatic sperm extractors being introduced in a Nanjing hospital recently went viral on China’s Weibo social platform. It contained some photos of the unusual machine, and a brief description of its functions. Apparently, the “massage pipe” in front of the device can be adjusted according to the height of its user, and the speed, frequency, amplitude and temperature at which it operates can also be set according to personal preference. When turned on, the screen of the extractor starts playing movies with surround sound to get the user in the right mood. The entry also said “now you can make that money standing up”, referring to the usage of the extractor for sperm bank donations, but the director of the urology department at Zhengzhou Central Hospital was quick to dismiss this rumor. Apparently, the machine is only used by infertility patients who are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way.

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Japanese Divorce Newspaper Lets Your Loved-Ones Know You’re Happily Divorced

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Created by Japanese divorce guru Hiroki Terai, Divorce Newspapers are gaining popularity as a quick and painless way to let family, friends and acquaintances know your marriage is over. This saves couples the embarrassment of having to tell each one of them their marriage has failed and explain how it happened.

You know those awkward moments when you bump into an acquaintance on the street and while making small talk you courteously ask them about their spouse, only to find out they got divorced? With the divorce rate on the rise, it’s becoming harder to avoid this kind of unfortunate situations. However, the resourceful Japanese have come up with an ingenious solution to this problem, called “the divorce newspaper”. Its creator, Hiroki Terai, got the seemingly-wacky idea after hearing many divorcees complain about having to tell everyone they know in person about their failed marriage, and wishing there was a quicker way to do it. Sure, you have social networks like Facebook and Twitter, but let’s face it, 80-year-old grandmas don’t usually have accounts on these platforms, and a simple status change doesn’t let everyone know how you feel about the whole thing.

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Cinema Uses Volunteer Ninjas to Silence Rude Moviegoers

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Unless you want to be confronted by a group of ninjas, you don’t want to break the code of conduct at London’s Prince Charles Cinema. They won’t run a katana through you or use throwing stars, but they will pop out of nowhere and give you a stern warning.

Invisible Cinema Ninjas, now there’s a cool concept! Well, they’re not really ninjas trained in the deadly arts, but really just volunteers dressed in all-black Lycra suits called “Morphsuits”. They’re offered free tickets by the Prince Charles Cinema, in London, and have the task of keeping an eye out for any misconduct from moviegoers, during screenings. “The ‘Cinema Ninjas’ may sound ludicrous, but they have been a real success in clamping down on those ruining films for everyone else with inconsiderate behavior,” says Paul Vickery, head of public relations for the theater. “Like every cinema, we were irritated and upset by the minority of people running films for everyone else.”

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