Turkmenistan Police Inspect Toilets for Use of President’s Newspaper Photos as Toilet Paper

Police in Turkmenistan have begun inspecting public and private toilets across the country for evidence of photos of president Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov being used as toilet paper.

It sounds like news you would only expect to read on a satire news website like The Onion, but this is Turkmenistan president we’re talking about here, the same country that earlier this year banned black cars because its president loves white, so this is sadly painfully true. After news started going around that people were using bits of newspaper with the president’s face on them as toilet paper, police and landfill workers were ordered to look for evidence of this unusual offence and issue warnings that such behavior could have serious consequences.

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Turkmenistan’s President Allegedly Bans Black Cars Because He Prefers White

The new year got off to a rocky start for owners of black cars in Turkmenistan’s capital. Reports of black automobiles being impounded without warning or explanation have been coming out of Ashgabat since New Year’s Day. Police started returning the vehicles to their owners a few days ago, but only if they agree to sign a document that obligates them to repaint the cars white or another light color.

As of January 2018, black cars have been made illegal in the city of Ashgabat, Turkmenistan. According to several independent sources, police started towing black cars to government parking lots on January 1st, without even bothering to notify the owners. Most of them learned from parking lot guards or neighbors that their vehicles had been seized by the police, and the government has yet to offer an explanation for the mass impounding of black cars. Sick of waiting for an official announcement on the matter, some car owners contacted the police and were told that they were only allowed to retrieve their vehicles if they signed a document that obligates them to repaint the cars white or a light color.

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