(And before you assume I’m tall, I’m 5’5″, which I consider to be less than average height for a guy, yet well within the ‘normal’ range.)

Please allow me to speak on behalf of that strange tribe which you have obviously noticed scuttling around your big feet but hadn’t really given much thought to as human beings before now it appears from the strange admixture of ideas you have projected onto us. Since you speak of clothing being easier to fit for this group, then you cannot be thinking of dwarves and the congenitally small people for whom this procedure may just be genuinely worth it. As a male of merely 5’8″ I guess you must be talking about weenie little fellas like me. I’d always found myself around average in Western societies and my wife comes from a nation where I am quite tall by comparison. Which I admit is kind of fun you lucky devil. Feeling like a giant among all those pygmies anything from an inch to ten inches shorter than me usually. (Of course there are some particularly fierce looking Pakistani gentlemen with beards and old rifles who stand upwards of 6’10” here and there but they are like some sort of extraterrestrial being in their aloof and unaffected way and are so rare as to be like sightings of whales when visiting the coast. It’s awesome when you catch a glimpse but there’s no need to alter your outlook on a daily basis since it was such an anomaly.

Anyway Chris to get on with an expose of our habits and lifestyle. Actually finding clothes to fit is still a problem for us. It often doesn’t come down to how “Short” you are but how fat or thin, or maybe how many legs or arms you have. yes Chris sad to relate some of us have other handicaps such as a missing limb or other injury. Do your people experience this also? The same with blending in with a crowd. For example a crowd of what? What if it’s a crowd of dark skinned people and one is average height but light skinned? or how about if it’s a crowd of basket ball players and you are less than six feet and any colour? You see we don’t always have it easy either. A crowd of pygmies even for us is s struggle. I

t is true that on the battle field we expect you tall blokes to get shot before us. It’s a good reason to find taller mates when you are a soldier. There have been times when our lot was harder and you touch upon one of them. reaching high up. Two things have helped that. Being shorter we don’t put things so high up as tall ones like you. It’s a learning curve that began long ago and I can;t even say when we began. The other thing which has been quite useful to us over time, indeed we invented them for the purpose. That is ladders. We do use ladders. These were invented by short people to compensate for their natural disadvantage. Now you have to admit despite our diminutive size we have proven to have ingenuity and determination. It has also sharpened our wits enough so that we tend to buy cars which suit our size. Being short of stature means we have enough leg room, so long as the car is suitable. For example my wife is 5′. (Yes we can still interbreed with them this small believe it or not) talk about enough leg room! She finds my Jeep Cherokee too big for her tiny little legs, yet I actually despite being only 8 inches taller can’t fit my legs into her car, or my middle aged stomach for that matter without some serious panel beating on it. (the car or the stomach) I mention it because there could be something in our race’s experience which may assist in your dilemma in this regard. I cannot say of course since your kind are foreign to me true. I don’t mean anything by that, I like tall people. I am not bigoted about height, I even have friends who are over six feet five, really I do. Anyway perhaps you could see if it works for your kind too to find a car which suits your size legs?

A few things you didn’t mention but in case they occur to you later to wonder now you have been made aware of us so to speak. Yes we do actually make babies the same way and we also do the same things in the bathroom as you it is believed. True not as much because we are not as big. Kind of like you have seen rabbit poops and kangaroo poops, you can tell which comes from which creature. Also when we die we do go to heaven. A special short people’s heaven but you can visit us.