Prepare to Be Owned as Japanese Man Auctions Off Planet Earth

We see crazy and bizarre items auctioned off on sites like eBay or Yahoo Auctions, every day, but this is the first time someone actually thought about selling our planet. The starting price was a measly ¥69 ($0.86), but since the auction went viral, the price has surged to ¥9,889,899,888 ($123,000,000). I still think it’s a bargain.

I know, this might seem like a joke to you, but it’s apparently no laughing matter to the seller. In the product description, it’s mentioned the Earth was bestowed upon the seller by God, who appeared to him in a dream. And since these are tough times, he decided to sell it to the highest bidder and improve his financial status. He lists our planet as “authentic” and warns bidders there is a “no return” policy on the item. So if you end up placing a bid and wind up owning the Earth and its inhabitants, you’re kind of stuck with us. You might feel tempted to post a prank bid on this, but the seller instructs all potential buyers to include a message expressing there serious intention to buy planet Earth, otherwise he will consider it a prank bid. And if there are too many prank bids he threatens to close the auction and start over at ¥69. In fact, he already did that once already, so please, be careful.

Here is part of the Q & A section on the auction for The Earth, on Yahoo Auctions, courtesy of RocketNews24:

Q: “I love cigars. Is it possible to sell off just Cuba as a special package item?”
A: “Thank you for your question! After placing the winning bid, I think Havana can be moved to Saitama, Japan. Thank you for your interest.”

Q: “Is it possible to ship this via Altair? Thank you for your time.”
A: “Thank you for your question! Because it would take 17 light years just for the bank transaction to complete, I think you should forget shipping. Thank you for your interest.”

Q: “I’m curious why there’s no photo of the item’s backside. Are there any countries recklessly wasting resources or waging wars that we should know about?”
A: “Thank you for your question! Unfortunately there are many countries doing that.  God is also quite upset about it. After a successful bid, I think I can talk to someone about crushing those countries like worms. Thank you for your interest.”

Q: “Hello.  This is a really interesting item! If I buy the Earth will I become a god?
A: Thank you for your question! This item can’t make you a god. Are you alright in the head? Thank you for your interest.”

Two years ago, we had a Spanish woman who claimed she owned the Sun and wanted to collect taxes on it, so I see no reason why this man can’t do the same with our planet. Still, with a possible apocalypse just around the corner, according to the Mayan calendar, is such an investment really worth it? You’d be better off investing in an Armageddon-proof survival pod. Just in case you’re interested, you have until Nobember 6 to place a bid.

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