These Oak Sticks Make Your Cheap Whiskey Taste More Expensive

Kickstarter features the most awesome inventions! The latest one we’ve found is the ‘Whiskey Element’, a simple tool that claims to make cheap whiskey taste like fine expensive liquor in just 24 hours. “Customize your whiskey in 24 hours,” the product page reads. “It’s your whiskey, drink it the way you want.”

The product is the brainchild of a Portland-based company called Time & Oak. They argue that the best and most expensive whiskeys are made after they are aged in quality oak barrels. But if you can’t afford to buy the finest whiskeys, you can probably settle for their Whiskey Elements, which are nothing more than specially designed oak sticks.

By simply adding the stick to a bottle of cheap whiskey, they claim that you can replicate the taste of high quality liquor in no time at all. That’s because their ‘accelerated transpiration through capillary action’ can properly age cheap whiskey into a quality one by filtering impurities and infusing additional wood flavor in the spirit.

whiskey-element

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How About a Glass of Piss Whiskey?

Before you click away in disgust, you should know James Gilpin’s piss whiskey isn’t as bad as it sounds, at least according to its creator.

James Gilpin, a researcher of new biomedical technologies, has managed to turn the urine of elderly diabetes patients into a type of single malt whiskey, suitable for export. He collects the urine from old volunteers, including his own grandmother, and purifies it pretty much the same way mains water is purified.

A type 1 diabetes patient himself, Gilpin first got the crazy idea of turning urine into whiskey after hearing a pharmaceutical legend about a company that allegedly set up shop near an old people’s home and started swapping cushions and other accessories for their urine. The chemicals from the urine could then be removed and used into new medicine.

After purifying the urine, the removed sugar molecules are added to the mash stock to accelerate fermentation. After thew stock ferments into clear alcohol. whiskey blends are added for coloring and taste, and the finished product is bottled with the name and age of the urine contributor. This way you know whose piss you’re actually drinking.

James Gilpin regards his method of turning urine into whiskey as more of an art form, rather than a conventional alcohol business. He’s just glad to showcase his water purification system as a way of efficiently collected the resources our elderly already process in abundance. Read More »