If you believe a zombie apocalypse is imminent, then you probably should be doing everything you can to protect yourself. Luckily, a British firm called Tiger Log Cabins has just the product for you. They’ve created the world’s first zombie-proof log cabin, designed to withstand the worst zombie attacks imaginable.
The cabin is called ZFC-1 (ZFC stands for Zombie Fortification Cabin), and it is guaranteed to protect you from the walking dead for at least 10 years. It is surrounded by barbed wire and is equipped with an escape hatch, a storage unit for weaponry, and an upper deck with a 360-degree vantage point to keep an eye out for approaching zombies.
The ZFC-1 consists of three sections, all of which are independent from each other with two lockable doors securing each area. So if a zombie were to breach the main large section, it would have to get through three very securely locked doors. The material used to build the cabin are supposed to be of the highest quality, with glazing that is factory siliconed and internally beaded to all doors and windows. Zombies wouldn’t even be able to climb on to the roof, thanks to the square cut logs at the edges of the cabin.
Of course, there’s no way to test if the product is really effective against zombies or not. The small print reads: “Please note – we require medical evidence of the presence of a real zombie should you wish to claim under the 10-year anti zombie guarantee.”
The other features are geared more towards survival in general – they include re-enforced slit windows, walls and doors, a protected garden section to grow vegetables, a toilet system, a kitchen area with microwave and a living area with TV, Xbox and Sound system turntables.
“The ongoing threat of an imminent zombie apocalypse has inspired Tiger Log Cabins to create the world’s first zombie proof log cabin,” the company’s website states. “Even for sceptics who still walk amongst us, we urge absolute caution and can only advise that ‘just in case’ for the maximum protection possible, this could really be a lifesaving purchase.”
Lifesaving or not, getting the ZFC-1 sure is an expensive affair. A basic 44 foot by 30 foot cabin will cost you £69,995 (that’s over $110,000), and installation is an extra £12,995 ($20,000). You could add extras if you like – security cameras, flame throwers, search lights, riot protection outfits, solar panels, and even a big bear water cannon. If you do plan to get a cabin of your own, the website informs that you do need to consult your local planning office for prior planning permission before purchasing.
We aren’t sure of how many people have purchased the ZFC-1 yet, but it sure got a lot of reviews on the Tiger Log Cabins website.
“This is the ideal retreat for me and my younger sister Claire. There is more than enough space for my multitude of weapons and I am more than prepared for the attack of any zombie with this zombie proof cabin,” wrote Chris Redfield.
“This log cabin is amazing,” added Stephen ‘Flyboy’ Andrews. “Although I’m sure the military would try to stop flesh eating zombies taking over the world, I feel far safer in this than anything else which could be provided. I was thinking about stealing a helicopter from work but why would I need one when I can sit back, unwind and relax in this zombie fortification cabin without the need to run.”
Understandably, the zombies aren’t happy at all. “I officially HATE this zombie proof log cabin!!” wrote Roger Rotter the Zombie. “Having roamed our way through the landmines, in just about one piece, a cluster of us avoided the flamethrowers and made it to the walls. No matter what we tried (eating through the walls, climbing to the roof etc) we just couldn’t break in. I have been forced therefore to rate this product 1 out of 5 – to clear up any confusion this is NOT suitable for zombies!!!”
Zombie-proof cabins aren’t the only products developed by Tiger Log Cabins. They’re mainly into making regular log cabins, so the zombie range is actually a (very clever) publicity stunt.