A 54 year old man from Kasugai city, in Japan’s Aichi Prefecture, was recently arrested after he confessed to stabbing himself in the hip area as an excuse to skip work. He had previously told police that a stranger had attacked him with a knife.
It happens to the best of us, we wake up one morning and at least think about emailing or calling the boss to tell him we’re too sick to come to work, and spend the rest of the day binge watching our favorite TV series. But some people really go all-out in order to make their excuses seem more legit. Case in point, 54-year-old Masaru Miura who wanted to skip work on February 22 so badly that he stabbed himself with a kitchen knife in the bathroom at Nagoya Municipal Subway station, Kasugai. He then proceeded to call the police and tell them that he had been attacked by a total stranger while he was relieving himself.
When police arrived on the scene, they found Masaru trying to stop the bleeding a knife wound on his left hip. They sealed off the scene of the crime and started to question him about the attack he had allegedly been a victim to. According to a computer generated recreation of his story, he was relieving himself at an urinal when a man holding a large knife simply stabbed him from the back and took off. As they waited for a medical team to take care of the victim’s 2.5 cm-long stab found, policemen kept asking him about the attack, and soon discovered cracks in Masaru’s version of the events.
Soon, it became obvious that the 54-year-old man had lied about the incident, and he eventually caved under the barrage of questions. He told police that he was distressed about work-related matters, so when he found a knife in a thicket near the subway station, he thought stabbing himself would be the perfect excuse to skip work at least for one day. “I didn’t want to go to work so I did it” Miura said. “If I got hurt I thought I would not have to go to work.”
Masaru did miss work that day, but he wasn’t able to enjoy it, as the officers called to investigate arrested him for interfering with police duties. Next time, make it more convincing, man. maybe have someone stab you?