Breaking up with someone is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do, but, luckily, you can now outsource it to an online company called ‘The Breakup Shop’.
The shop lets you choose from a variety of methods, depending on how much you think the breakup is worth. An email or text breakup will cost you $10, a letter $20, and a phone call will set you back by $29. The full Breakup Gift Pack starting at $80 comes with all the trimmings to help your ex cope with heartbreak – cookies, Netflix gift card, and depending on their tastes, a copy of a weepy romantic film like The Notebook or a video game like Call of Duty. You can also include two wine glasses and a handcrafted sympathy letter.
“The Breakup Gift Pack box can also be repurposed as a memory oven” the website states. “Empty the box and stuff it full of your ex’s photos, jewelry, underwear, or whatever and set it ablaze.”
Breakup Shop is the brainchild of Canadian brothers MacKenzie and Evan, who thought that if Tinder could get you into relationships, there had to be a service that helps you get out of one. They were also inspired by personal experience – one of the brothers got dumped by a girl who simply stopped responding to his texts until he got the hint.
“Let us handle the messy work of the breakup so you can spend more time swiping right,” the website adds. “All of our products are designed to give you peace of mind when ending your relationship, minimizing discomfort and maximizing potential for long-term friendship.”
This is how it works – when you order a breakup from The Breakup Shop, they’ll contact you for additional details on why you want to end the relationship. Then, depending on your chosen breakup method, they’ll contact the dumpee to gently break the news. They’ll also provide a list of reasons for the breakup, in the nicest way possible, offering their deepest sympathies and good wishes for the future. The brothers make the phone calls themselves for now, but they’re hoping to hire more ‘heartbreakers’ as business expands.
It’s difficult to imagine what it would feel like to get dumped by a service, which is why Motherboard writer Emanuel Maiberg recently tried it out on his girlfriend of five years. He arranged for a break-up call, citing reasons like her love of makeup and her reluctance to help around the house. Of course, it was only a test, so he informed her in advance that the call was coming. Still, the call was reportedly super-awkward.
“Even though we talked about it in advance, and we thought it was funny, the call itself was still kind of painful,” Emanuel wrote. “First of all, I never told them to give Angela advice. They asked me what my issues were, I told them, but I don’t see why they told her those are things she needs to work on. Most of the time, relationships end because people aren’t compatible. It doesn’t mean one of them needs to change. Rude.”
MacKenzie later admitted that the service probably isn’t right for long-term, serious relationships. He also explains that the service is so alien that it’s going to be a while before it feels normal to people. “This is something so new,” he said. “The first time someone got in someone’s Uber, I’m sure they thought, ‘I’m just getting into some stranger’s car, what the hell am I doing?’”
“I think it will take time for people to realise that there’s a service called The Breakup Shop and that when you get a call from them, and they say you’ve been dumped, you’ve been dumped,” he added. “It’s obviously not pleasant, but you also got to think of it from the perspective of the other person who wants to break up. There’s a reason they reached out to us.”
Photos: Screen grabs from The Breakup Shop
via The Atlantic