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Woman Plans to Marry Tetris Video Game After Failed Relationship with a Calculator

A 20-year-old mathematics student from Orlando, Florida has announced her intention to marry the vintage computer game Tetris, after losing her previous boyfriend in a fatal accident. The ex-flame was a calculator called Pierre, and he met his demise during a routine cleaning.

Noorul Mahjabeen Hassan, who prefers to go by Fractal Tetris Huracan, identifies as an objectum sexual. Also known as objectophilia, the expression of this form of sexuality is attraction, love, and commitment to inanimate objects. Noorul has previously had romantic relationships with an iPod and a monorail, but she has been committed to Tetris for over a year now, and plans to marry the game after she graduates from University.

Photo: Monoklon/Wikimedia Commons

“It started when I would play this game called Smash Run, and I would hear the Tetris theme, and I thought it was nice. Every time I heard it I would want to play Tetris,” the 20-year-old said. “I think Tetris is so beautiful, he is about perfection, and he stimulates your mind. Physically I get that feeling that people in relationships get – that you know they are the right one.”

The odd relationship began in September 2016, and since then Hassan has filled her home with Tetris memorabilia. She claims to spend upwards of 12 hours a day playing it online and on her Gameboy. The relationship is an intimate one, as Hassan claims that she sleeps with Tetris-themed physical objects, such as cushions and hard drives.

Hassan is only attracted to objects that she perceives as male, being a hetero-objectum-sexual apparently, and has stressed that objectophilia is a preference rather than a fetish.

“I want to make clear there is a big difference,” she explained. “A fetish is sexual whereas objectum sexual is more romantic. You have actual feelings and feel like you emotionally connect with the objects, I’ve never been attracted to humans.”

Speaking about her former love, a calculator she called Pierre, Noorul said: “I loved touching his buttons – the feel of his buttons and trackpad. I loved running my finger over that, and I used my tongue to touch his buttons. I liked generating random numbers and multiplying them. It was very much an intellectual relationship as well. He’s a calculator – how could it not be?”

Unfortunately, Pierre short-circuited one day while Hassan was cleaning him. “I had the most indescribable breakdown when he would not work,” she said of the experience. “I lost him and had to get a new Pierre; I did not believe Pierre’s consciousness extended across. This one did not feel the same as the original Pierre.”

 

Things have brightened up for the math student, however, since discovering Tetris.

“I want to say I’m married to Tetris and have a legitimate ceremony with friends. I want everybody to be there. I feel like that would be an official thing which would set it in stone and say ‘I love you and want to prove it to you’ by making it permanent and calling myself Mrs. Tetris.”

Hassan’s unique relationships have proven distressing to her family who struggles to understand her. She has found an active community online to support her though, and she is hoping to spread awareness and understanding regarding her sexuality.

“I am not doing anyone or anything any harm. What is the issue? They think it’s weird but I ask them to give me one good reason why I shouldn’t date Tetris and they can’t.”